Freeing yourself from any addiction permanently will require a two-step approach.
- Reconditioning the mind
- Fixing underlying causes that're triggering the addiction
- Reconditioning the mind
In the case of addictions, the dependency has been built upon the substance for so long, that it becomes a sort of solid pattern in the mind, which seems unable to break. And in cases where people have gained short successes in breaking the addiction, but relapse again and again, the belief in powerlessness becomes stronger and stronger, and so do the associated fears and beliefs like there's some jinx against them, the universe in conspiring against them, it just doesn't work, life is too hard, it's a permanent part of my identity, etc.
So, to recondition the mind, you must know the laws of the mind, some of which are -
- If you think good, good follows.
- If you think evil, evil follows.
So, if your habitual thinking is about victimhood, hopelessness, powerlessness, frustration; you will meet these experiences in your outer reality; and that is because your thoughts and imagination create your reality.
Bible says - "Resist ye not evil" i.e do not fight the thoughts of hopelessness and bondage, as resisting anything makes it stronger. And that is because, you're often thinking about it, and whatever you're habitually thinking about will come into your reality.
The thought - "I am hopeless in quitting my addiction" creates the reality of you being powerless in quitting your addiction.
The thought - "I am free from the addiction" creates the reality of you being free from the addiction.
To gain freedom, you must build the idea of freedom and peace in your mentality. You must imagine yourself as being free from the habit, and live as that free person, and persist in this new direction and joy until it becomes your sustained reality. Whenever the thought of hopelessness, doubt or fear arises; again affirm your freedom, imagine yourself as free. Use affirmations such as " I'm completely free from the habit. I give thanks for my freedom. "
As you persist in this new direction, gradually you'll notice that your cravings will become weaker and weaker, and a time will come when you'll be completely free from the addiction.
2. Fixing underlying causes
Now, in addition to reconditioning the mind, you also have to fix the underlying causes that were triggering the addiction, otherwise it's possible that the addiction can return and possibly with more intensity. Let's understand a few causes, and how to fix them.
- Guilt over past mistakes
Sometimes people use addictions to numb the wound of guilt. In such cases, addiction becomes an unconscious attempt to escape. But it only numbs the pain, it does not heal it. You have to learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Ask for forgiveness if it's possible and try to fix the situation. But in the end, you have to forgive yourself and move on. If you have trouble forgiving yourself, ask God or the universe for help, and follow the signs.
Whatever mistakes you made, you have to realize that you acted from a place of ignorance, and you can't make those same mistakes now as you've learned from them. - Frustration from unfulfilled desires
Failure to realize your desires over a long period of time creates frustration. Now, there are people and cases where it does happen, people keep trying for years, and all their efforts seem to go wasted; and they are unable to realize their desires whether it's related to work, home, relationships, health or any other thing.
More intense the desire, more frustrated you'll feel.
Now there's nothing wrong with desires, everybody has them. But there's a possibility that your desire might take more time than you think to materialize. If that's the case, do you want remain frustrated till that point of time? Is that fair to you? Are you so unworthy, that you are willing to cause yourself endless suffering and frustration, till some desire of yours can manifest? And even if manifests, is there any guarantee that you'll become joyful after that, or will your joy be long lasting? And if your joy is dependent on something outside of you, how can it become long lasting?
And if you do not fix this, it's possible that your desire may never manifest or you might cause intense suffering for yourself.
The solution to this is to realize that your joy, as long as it is dependent on anything outside of you, cannot become permanent. It will always be dependent on something whether it's a high paying job, a relationship, travel, changing the world etc.
So, you should first make your joy independent of anything and understand that "you are perfect, whole and complete" in this moment right now. There's nothing lacking or missing in this moment. This moment is full of joy. When you have arrived at this point, where you are free from the lack of your desire, and full of gratitude and joy for this moment, then you have healed yourself. Now your joy will spread out from you into everything, and you will attract even better things than you previously felt worthy of. - feeling unwanted/unloved